…Anyway.

It’s not so much that Simon is abbreviating when he calls it the “doc project” as much as it is that that’s just what it’s called. Like how people don’t generally think out “deoxyribonucleic acid,” they think “DNA.” It’s just… what it’s called.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me.

Regarding the “Oh, well.” thing, I’ve personally always seen it like that, but whatever. I’ll look it up or something.

Everything else I can’t really comment on. Just… thanks for pointing them out. :3

And once again, many many many thanks for actually going through the process of reading into everything. I swear, this would be going nowhere if I didn’t have in-detail edits and stuff. You rock, Fred~ :3

Well. That might take a little tweaking of details here and there, but it would definitely fit in a bunch more.

lol, thanks for the ideas. :D

…-cough-

In one paragraph, if you take out the interrupting phrase: “…why Tony even bothered to befriend and further said friendship…” You use the phrase “further said friendship” before even naming a noun. Change it to “befriend us and further said friendship.” That way, there is a noun that “further” and modifies.

“I mean, I knew he would fail you but I didn’t think you skipped out on that many assignments.” Italicize “that” in “that many assignments.” When using that phrase in common conversation, people usually emphasize “that.”

“…did nothing to alleviate the oncoming pressure from the doc project.” When thinking things inside your head, I’m pretty sure you don’t abbreviate things. Like, I don’t think you call Mr. Potato, who likes to be called Mr. P, “Mr. P” inside your head, you usually call him “Mr. Potato” in your head.

“Horror. The incident…” Again, don’t overuse the one-worders unless the time seems JUST right. For beginnings it’s a little more accpetable because you need to draw the reader in, but mid-story there’s no real reason to do so, unless something major is happening. How about: “Absolute horror” did no justice to the scene. The incident shocked….

The rest of the Blissem description seems fine, but one issue seems iffy to me. It’s not really the “Blissem Massacre” because a massacre is just that: Culling of a mass amount of beings. 5 people is hardly a massacre. Brutal and disturbing, yes, but not a massacre. How about renaming the Blissem incident to something different. (Blissem Bloodbath, Blissem Slaughter, etc)

“Oh, well. I was going…” Generally there’s no comma between the two. It’s spoken as a phrase, not two separate phrases.

“I was going to be spending a day or two at the actual house itself at most…” Seems awkwardly worded. Switch around the words a little. “I was going to be spending a day or two at most at the actual house itself.” Or, replace “at most” best “maximum.” Either way though, put the days before the house.

“That would take god-level-powers.” Keep the god-level hyphenization, don’t attach powers to it. Keep it at “god-level powers.”

“…but if it could save my grade even only slightly…” Having both “even” and “only” is superfluous. Take out “only” or reword it to something like “…my grade in even the slightest bit,”

“A groan was elicited from Clark.” This is technically correct, but generally a noun elicits a noun from another noun. In this case, the statement elicits a groan from Clark. So it would be something like “This elicited a groan from Clark.” Also, it’s not worth a separate paragraph. Stick it onto the end og the last paragraph. (The one that ends with “four days.”)

Trim down Simon’s “Well, technically that was two nights ago” statement to “That was two nights ago.” Clark’s statement was erroneous, so Simon’s statement would be a plain-out correction, not a technicality.

Italicize only “again” rather than “fucking morning.” You don’t need to emphasize the fact it’s four in the morning because it was emphasized last time. This time you just need to point out the fact Simon plans on being a dick and doing it again.